There's somthing wrong about Marian
by monkira
Summary: A new alchemist arrives on a train,she has all the men fall for her.Rated for death and slight cussing.Read and Review.Updated with better grammar and chapter 2!
1. sue wars

Authors note: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and thank god, I don't own Mary Sues, evil monsters. And this is a PARODY.  
Ed: You tell 'em!  
Monkira: Thanks shorty.  
Ed: HEY,WHOS SO SHORT WHEN HE WAS BORN HE WAS LOST FOR A WEEK!  
Monkira: Well ,let the fic begin!

There's something wrong about Marian.

"Brother, why are we on this train? How many trains have we rode on in total?" "I don't know Al, too many I guess.  
AND WHY IS THE MILITARY HERE!" Ed yelled, leering at Roy Mustang. He, Havoc, Fury, Riza, Armstrong,  
Breda, and Falman were sharing a train car with him, Breda beating Falman at Checkers for the twenty-third time. "Fullmetal, we're here to protect a random female state alchemist, the Peach Heart Alchemist. I swear, these alchemist names keep getting weirder and weirder. "Havoc replied. "And why are we here"  
"Plot development." "Oh. "Looking around, Ed didn't see anyone he didn't know. "So, where is this Peach Heart Alchemist? "He asked,  
still looking around the car. As if on cue, a girl, not much older than twenty, burst through the door, her red eyes staring at the boys, pink hair swaying in the air coming from the open window.

"Am I in the right place? I am Marian Suevius, the Peach Heart Alchemist. Oh yeah, and in twenty seconds all the men in this car will fall in love with me. "she said, working evil sue magic(tm) on the poor men. Just as she said, all the men in the car fell madly in love with her. All except Al, who was immune since his armor protected him. "Brother, there's something wrong here. "He said, looking at Ed, who was transmuting a few pencils into flowers. "Yes Alphonse, there is something wrong, this girl is evil"  
Riza said, since her evil sue magic(tm) didn't effect her because she was female. "What do we do? "Al asked Riza ,worried about his older brother. "I don't know Alphonse, but I think we need backup. Ross is in the other car, its not that far from here, I'll go get her." and with that, Riza walked out the door as Marian glared at Alphonse. "What's wrong little boy? Why aren't you effected by my alchemy? You should be like the others. "She snarled, the men too enchanted by her magic.

Dashing down the train, Riza was almost at Ross's car. When she arrived, however, it seemed that Ross was bound and gagged. "Ross, what happened? "Riza asked her. "It was a girl with pink hair and red eyes. "Ross said, shaken at the memory of the girls weirdness. "What do we do?" She asked Riza, staring at her. "I say we do the most humane thing possible - kill her. "Riza said,  
dragging Maria out of the car and down to where the Marian was staying with the military men.

Poking Al with her finger, Marian grinned as she figured it out. "You don't have a body do you?" she said as Havoc handed her some chocolates that he found under the seat. The door burst open, Riza and Maria standing there, in an almost Charlie's Angel like stance. "Stay right where you are, hells spawn!" they yelled, as Riza opened fire on the evil girl. As soon as she was dead ,the magic wore off the men. "What happened?" Roy asked, scratching his head, "And why is there a dead girl in here? "Ed looked at him and replied, "I don't know, wanna poke her with a stick?" "Yeah! "Everyone had a great time that day,  
poking the dead body of the girl more evil than all the homunculus combined.


	2. The return of the Sue

Authors note: Due to the popularity of the first chapter, I have decided to continue the story with yet another Mary-sue to torture, this time it's a boy though. This chapter is kind of a mixture of the anime (with anime Wrath and how homunculus are created ) and the manga (with the mysterious "father") so it might get a bit confusing. I also don't own anything at all except this computer. Now on with the fic!

Gluttony was nervous, Lust told him to stay away from that dead body they found thrown out on the railroad tracks one day, something wasn't right about the pink hair she had. Lust told him not to touch it, let alone eat it, but he couldn't help it, her blank red eyes were just saying " Look at me! I'm a dead body, thrown out of a train! Go on, Pick up a fork and eat!" He couldn't resist, he followed its words almost exactly, except he didn't use a fork. Poor Gluttony .

It had been a week since Riza Hawkeye saved the boys from the evil creature named Marion, and everything was fine at the military. Unfortunately, this takes place at the homunculus hideout, which was for the moment, some abandoned factory, seeing as Father had to have the other one fumigated. Lust was playing a card game against Envy, who was currently getting madder by the second because he was losing, when the doors to the temporary hideout were flung open, revealing a boy with short black hair and purple eyes.

The homunculi were staring in shock as the boy decided to speak, "Hello, you must be the homunculus that I heard about from some blonde kid. I'm Fear, pleased to meet you." He grabbed an apple away from Wrath, who was about to start gnawing on it, and bit a huge chunk out of it and tossed it too the floor. Lust leered at the new person and calmly asked, " Who created you, and what are your powers?" Fear smiled and replied "I was created from some girls best friend ever, who got killed at the age of 16, and my power is this." He pointed his hand at the apple on the floor, flames shot out of his hand, and caught the apple on fire as Father called the original homunculi over around him.

"This boy while he could have some use to us, is obviously plotting something." Father said as Fear kicked around the flaming apple." I agree, he caught my apple on fire! And he has bad taste too, he was staring at Lust the entire time he was here!" Wrath replied. "You know what you must do, Wrath distract him, Lust impale him and I'll finish him off." The plan was set, Fear had to go, for good.

"Hey! Hey! Look at me Fear! I'm jumping around! Whee!" Wrath was trying his best to keep Fears attention as Lust was looking for the perfect spot to stay until the signal from Father. Father coughed twice, that was the signal, and Lust sunk her claws into his head. "Damn you!" Fear yelled as his life was ended.

"Glad that's over. Hey Lust, where's Gluttony? We haven't seen him at all today." Envy said while Wrath was munching on a new apple that he found." Gluttony's sick, I told him not to eat that pink haired body, but he didn't listen." And so, the homunculi lived happily ever after, or as happily as people with no souls can.


End file.
